Gratitude from a Birth Mother

Gratitude is a word that’s going to be used a lot this month, as it should. But it’s less used throughout the rest of the year. Something about sitting around the table with family and friends, eating turkey and stuffing, laughing and playing games that reminds us to be grateful/ But what if gratitude wasn’t only encouraged during a certain time of year, but instead it was a posture of the heart?

There was a study done by two different psychologists who are leading gratitude researchers at the Universities of California and Miami. One group they studied wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them. The third group wrote about events that had affected them with no emphasis on positive or negative. After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to the doctor than those who focused on sources of aggravation.

When I placed my daughter for adoption 13 years ago, I had a choice to make of what I was going to focus on. I chose joy. I chose peace. I chose gratitude.

Of course, that decision is stronger on some days than others. On those days, I take the time I need to process and then continue on. This posture of the heart is not only good for me, but it’s good for my relationship with my daughter. It’s a reminder that I’m grateful for her, for her parents, for our relationship, and for all that I have. It also reminds me that time is precious and valuable, and I never want to squander it.

“It’s not happy people who are grateful, it’s grateful people who are happy.” -Unknown

Jerusha Kingery